How it’s ok to change your mind (or behavior) at any time.
This was such a difficult thing for me to grasp. Especially when it came to other people. I had a friendship I knew was one-sided, however, I was always the pushover, the person who came running no matter what I was doing, the person who catered to everyone else’s needs and never to my own. When it came to needing that sort of friendship in return it was never there. So I knew this friendship either had to change or had run it’s course and it was time to say goodbye. I remember thinking how on earth I was supposed to change my behavior when I had been one way for such a long time. It’s really hard to start standing up for yourself when you never have. And it’s even harder when people don’t like it, when they really should, if they were truly your friend.
This is part of changing your mind as well. You are allowed to decide it’s time to stand up for yourself and be a different person, you are allowed to stand up for you and demand better for yourself. You are allowed to be yourself and you are allowed to expect your friends to support that. You are also allowed to walk away from people who don’t want you to be yourself.
And as far as changing your mind – you are allowed to do that as well.
I told myself for years I never wanted children. This was because I was told over and over after having multiple rounds with cervical cancer that I probably would not have children. Rather than face that reality, I decided I would pretend like it was my decision – and that I did not want children. That wasn’t true, I did. It is much easier to act like you are calling the shots than to admit you don’t have a choice. When I had my daughter, there were a few people who asked me why I changed my mind or assumed it was because I was getting older and decided to try. Not the case, we got lucky, honestly.
You are allowed to change your mind, your behavior, and your path as you change and grow. And that relates to absolutely anything.
If you were a republican growing up because of those around you, and now you have more liberal views, that is absolutely ok. You are changing and growing and so are your opinions and things effect you differently now that you are old.
If you decided at 22 that you did not want to ever have children, and now at 29 you are feeling like you want to have children, that is absolutely ok. If you thought at 22 you would have five children, and now you feel like you love your life and no longer want to have them, that is absolutely ok too.
If you went to college and got a degree and now you no longer want to pursue that career and instead want to figure out a different one, you are allowed to do that.
I know we are conditioned to think we have to figure out what we want early in life and pursue that, and if you can, that is fantastic, however, a lot of the time, our views and goals and lives change and we are allowed to morph in to that and change with it. We are allowed to change our minds multiple times if we need to. And everyone else can have their opinion of that, but it doesn’t matter, only your opinion of your life matters.
I kind of find it strange if you do stay on the same path your whole life, if it never changes. It seems like no matter what at least something will change as you grow. If I could explain how much shit I’ve been given for changing my mind over career goals so many times, and it used to bother me and weigh on my mind until I realized that not one of those people has to live with me each day and experience my unhappiness, and not one of them pays my bills. So at the end of the day why did I let it bother me? I think honestly it was something in me judging myself.
At the end of the day, you are the only one that gets to judge what you do. And you are allowed to change your mind on life goals as many times as you damn well please, you are allowed to pivot any time you want. Even on the really big things. Even if you have already told everyone your plans over and over again. You are allowed to live the life that makes you happy and change that if you need something else to make you happy. Its your life, you can act like any time you want.
What are some ways you have changed your life goals?
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