Let’s talk about excuse making.
I used to be surrounded in a world of people constantly telling me not to make excuses, or to give up my excuses – for every little thing. And it bled out to me, I would forever tell everyone else the same thing. Got home late? Not an excuse. Tired? Suck it up. Had to get other things done? Get over it. Stop making excuses for why you cannot live your best life.
This mostly came with working out, eating right, drinking water – all thing health related. Because if there is an area of excuse making, this is probably the most popular. People like to give every reason to not take care of themselves, which is odd, but a whole other topic. I would push people hard when I was in the world of coaching, pushing them to the limits and reminding them that they can always make time – wake up earlier, go to bed later, get it done no matter what.
In my years now, I am realizing this is complete and utter bull shit. Do people give excuses? Sure. Do I give excuses? Yes. However, life is not an excuse. If you are busy, you need help figuring out how to maintain a schedule that is cle
arly not working for you, if you do not have time for yourself. You don’t need yet another person telling you to not make excuses – you need help navigating your schedule to find some time, or support in letting go of some things that might not be serving you, not another person in your face talking about excuses. And you are allowed to tell people to fuck off if they are not willing to support and help you – because anything else is not serving you.
The world of coaching likes to be badass and push things to the limits and some people are not capable of that kind of schedule and mental capacity. Some people need coaching that offers gentle guidance and support – I found out that was absolutely me. I don’t need someone being a badass, I needed support.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how much I was putting so much pressure on myself to let go of excuses when they were not even close to excuses – just the word sounds so blasé and cheap. Like life isn’t as important. And the things that would get in the way of what I wanted and needed to do were things like keeping my baby fed and happy. Having appointments after work and not getting home in time to have a workout and cook dinner and take a shower and play with my baby (who I already see only about three hours a day). Or just sitting on the floor with my girl and playing, again, I hardly see her during the week, so if someone were to tell me this was an excuse, I would absolutely punch them in the face. Or you know what, some days I was entirely too exhausted to do anything else other than sit with my girl on the floor and play because she woke up three times the night before. Or a migraine, or a million other
things that were far from excuses.
Now, I know that sometimes things really are shitty excuses and especially when it comes to meeting some big goals. However, when someone tells you not to let anything get in the way, please don’t listen unless you need to. Because sometimes life just gets in the way, and sometimes you cannot meet those goals when you wanted to. You know what you do then? You take a reset. You look at the current obstacles in your way and you reset those goals and reevaluate what you want and need and adjust accordingly. There is nothing wrong with allowing life to get in the way sometimes – we only have so much to give and when that is starting to diminish, we will fall and it will be painful.
So, this is your friendly reminder that you are allowed to reset, and you are allowed to have moments when you don’t accomplish what you
thought you would. You are also allowed to take time for yourself, because that is something you will always need. However, sometimes we just cant and that is ok too. Sometimes we don’t meet our goals and it is not always making excuses, it is living life and allowing things to happen as they will.
Don’t listen to the people telling you to push yourself further than you are able to. I promise you, it will not end well for you. If you are finding yourself not able to complete the things you want or need to do, try to reevaluate your schedule and your timeline. Get support and help from those close to you and also, own your choices. They are yours and if it is more important to you to play with your baby than to get a workout in, do that (maybe do a little airplane and get that arm workout at the same time). Or if you know you are going to have several appointments or tasks to do, spread them out as you can so you do not have back to back tasks. If you need more time with our family, maybe talk to your employer about different work hours if that’s a thing.
Any way you go about things, understand tha
t we are not just making excuses about important things – and we really should drop this language, it puts more pressure on us than we need – and we already have enough – and makes it feel strangling like we have too much on our plate when we really just need help adjusting what is on the plate and what can go in the trash.
It will make it easier to live life for ourselves and do what is important to us without the pressure.
Making excuses is a bull shit statement and we need to stop saying it.
Love to you!
Comments